...here are the 7 most inappropriate items you can buy for your child this holiday season...or any time for that matter!

From Huffington Post

Got DirecTV?  Watch Starz free tomorrow through Sunday!

Don't got DirecTV?  Shoot me an e-mail and I can save you $100!  (Not only will you save me $100 in the process, but you can also save another $100 if you sign friends up to DirecTV...)

The Ripple Effect: What One Layoff Means For A Whole Town (Frome Time.com)

"Though it has been painful for him, Whitfield's lost job should have had little effect beyond his immediate family. One lost job is a microscopic event in the massive organism of the U.S. economy."

This article is an interesting read about Roxboro, NC...just minutes from the booming Bushy Fork metro area where I grew up.

(Thanks to Cousin Susan for tipping me off to this one.)

What time is it?

That's right!  It's time once again for Stephen'z Weakly Reader.  The place where I rip things off the internet and share them with you, the people who read my blog.  If you're reading this on Facebook instead of on StephenzPage.com then you might be missing a little bit of the action...not much, just a little bit.

Anyway...RAWK AND ROHHHHLLL!!!  Starting with...

PICTURES!

(From FailBlog.org)

(From ASBO Jesus)

(From That Will Buff Out)

(From Graph Jam)

and now...

TEXT!!!

From Not Always Right...

(My husband works for the out of hours service and drives/assists the doctors with their house calls. I’m a veterinary nurse and as we work in the same area we often see the same people. At 2 am, the phone rings.)

Me: “Uh, hello?”

Husband: “Hi, my love. It’s just me. The doctor has a question for you about some meds. Do you mind talking to him?”

Me: “No problem, put him on.”

Doctor: “Hi, we’re at a patient’s house now. She’s worried because she accidentally took her cat’s medication. The thing is, she’s decanted the tablets into a tub and has lost the label. Can you tell me what they are?”

Me: “Well, give me a description of the tablets, I’ll see if I can recognise the med code.”

Doctor: “The pills are round, white and have A-S-P-I-R-I-N stamped on them.”

Me: “Seriously? Are you kidding me?”

(This clearly sets the doctor off, as he goes off on the following tirade:)

Doctor: “No! You said you would help! What’s your problem, for f*** sake! I have a patient that may be poisoned and you’re being a b****! It’s my JOB on the line here, do you understand that? MY JOB, I don’t know why I listened to that b**** driver what would you know anyway you are just some idiot nurse for f***ing animals nobody would give a s**t what you say you ignorant cow!”

Me: “It’s an aspirin…spelled A-S-P-I-R-I-N.”

Doctor: *prolonged silence* “I guess I should say sorry now, right?”

Also from Not Always Right...

Me: “Thanks for calling, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, your website has been timing me out ever since I switched computers.”

Me: “What kind do you use currently?”

Customer: “Mac, using Safari as the browser.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we did not test the web site with Macs, and we know it doesn’t work properly with Safari.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you test with Macs?”

Me: “Most of our customer base use Windows based PC’s, typically with Internet Explorer.”

Customer: “Really? I think everyone should use Macs. Everything runs perfectly on them!”

Oh, and what about...

VIDEO!!!

I know I linked this on FaceBook, but here it is again on Stephen'z Blog...

(From YouTube)

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That's it for this edition of Stephen'z Weakly Reader.  If you didn't like what you saw, let me know.  Honestly, I probably won't do anything about it, but I kinda like to know that I'm not the only one who ever looks at this.

 

I've told you before how awesome FreePreview.tv is.  That's how I knew that we could spend time playing Scrabble scramble or whatever it was on DirecTV's Game Lounge this past weekend.  Well, now they're giving away a $50 gift card for Amazon.com!  go to their website at http://www.freepreview.tv to sign up for a chance to win!

A few months after moving into our house in December 2004, Shanda brought home four stray Betta fish from PETsMART where she was working at the time.  No, wait a minute, I'm confusing the dog and cat stories.  She actually bought the fish.  Two males, two females.  We named them Wynkin, Blynkin, Ann, and Nod, of course from Eugene Field's Dutch Lullaby.  Yes, I know there was no Ann in the story, but...well, anyway...

As time passed, we lost Blynkin, Nod, and Ann.  They lived what we considered to be full lives for fish, in their happy quarts of water, spending much of their time swimming in circles, or up,m or down.  As time passed by, Wynkin lived on.

...and on...

...and on...

...and on to where we had finally come to the conclusion that there was some type of radioactive leak at PETsMART that day, and Wynkin would one day become a teenage mutant ninja betta.  (Heroes in a half-gallon! Betta power!)  We even moved him into a larger abode once his neighbors on the shelf all had their own "burials at sea."

Wynkin didn't always have an easy life, as you think a fish might have.  No, there were droughts when his bowl was at low tide.  There were times when he went an extended period without food.  He didn't seem to mind, as it appears that, for fish, household dust has some nutritive value.

I'll always remember the times when he would see me going for the Betta Bits, and start making his way to the top of the bowl, knowing that dinner would soon be served.  I'll also remember when I would drop the food directly on the little fella, scaring him a couple inches down to the bottom of the bowl.

He was old for a fish.  I've never kept a fish that long.  That's why I made the graphic.  You deserved it, little blue buddy.  Enjoy that big bowl in the sky.

(A Haiku about nature...imagine that!)

Monday. Raining. Cool.
Sun rises, but we don't see.
Is fall upon us?

Hey all you DirecTV subscribers!  Oh.  Hey both of you DirecTV subscribers!  (Really, how many of you read this that have DirecTV?)

Seriously, though, DirecTV is offering up some free previews in September, so check them out!

• Choice Xtra - 9/1/09 - 9/7/09
• Game Lounge - 9/4/09 - 9/6/09
• NFL Sunday Ticket - 9/13/09
• Starz - 9/17/09 - 9/20/09

DirecTV runs these free previews quite often.  I'll try to remind you if you are bad at checking, like me.  (We missed the HD Xtra preview last weekd.  )  It seems like Game Lounge is on preview every time there's a holiday weekend.

If you don't have DirecTV, what are you waiting for?   They currently have a promotion where you and I both receive a $100 credit on our bills if you subscribe and refer to my account number when subscribing.  If you're interested, shoot me a message and I will give you the hookup!

That's right, I said it...

In Whiteville Area News...

Your favorite senator* has shot one of his former clients.  No, not the client who claimed he was molested by Soles.  (Full Story at News Reporter, and what the heck, WRAL)

The Lake Waccamaw Presbyterian Church is feeding the multitudes who are in town to "Take the Lake."  The church opted to have "dinner on the grounds" and call the event "Take the Lunch" rather than go with the more hip "Ham at the Dam" nomenclature.  ("Take the Look" at News Reporter)

School's back in session.  The local constabulary would like to remind you there's no speeding and no jaywalking in school zones.  (From where else but the News Reporter)

A day in the life of a book salesman.  It's the episode where Sherriff Taylor tries to get the kid to leave town, but Aunt Bea decides to buy some books and fix a home-cooked meal for him instead.  Well, it's close.  (From the NR BTW, Mr. Peters, I grew up with the Southwestern books in my house, and found them so useful that we bought the set from a local thrift shop when we saw them!  Some people just don't realize what they're giving away.)

Give life.  Get cookies.  (Also from the NR)

Looks like the 21st century is here to stay...might as well keep with the times! Schools become part of a program to integrate technology into teaching.  Okay, the article's cool, but I do wonder if the author realizes that we're about 10% complete with the 21st century?  (From the NR)

It's not a backpack, it's an Inpack!  Get yours at http://www.inpackbackpack.com/ today! (I should probably just say at the beginning these are from the News Reporter unless otherwise noted...hey, I'll know for next time.)

 *Hey, I'm not one of the ones who keeps voting him in...

And how about the happenings in Person County?

(All of the below stories are from the Person County Life website unless otherwise noted.  There...that was so much easier.)

Back when I was in high school, we feared and respected the assistant principal.  Now we need a third uniformed deputy to keep the kids straight?

In the days of SpikeHD, officers need new cameras if they want to appear on Worlds Wildest Police Videos.

Fire Chief supports legalization of pot on city sidewalks.

Get your steak, before it's too late.  Everyone at Stephen'z house wishes the Cash family the best as they reorganize under Chapter 11.

Roxboro man sings his Ode to beef and A1.

Oh, what the heck...why not post the YouTube video?

(Y'all hold your horses...voting has ended.)

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That's it for this edition of Stephen'z Small Town Newz...there's plenty of Internet out there for you to read, so don't waste your time on mine!

 

(Pardon the multiplicity of Facebook/Twitter/Blogging about this...but read on if u wanna.)

...not by switching to Geico, but by joining the BJ's Rewards Membership program instead of the regular membership program I joined.

If I had, they would have sent me a check* for $25.19. All I needed to do was pay them an extra $35 to get my $25.19 check*.  (Is this one of them Nigerian 419 scams???)

*By check, they mean a BJ's Reward, which I assume is probably not a check* at all, but rather a gift card or a credit to my account.