The Ripple Effect: What One Layoff Means For A Whole Town (Frome Time.com)

"Though it has been painful for him, Whitfield's lost job should have had little effect beyond his immediate family. One lost job is a microscopic event in the massive organism of the U.S. economy."

This article is an interesting read about Roxboro, NC...just minutes from the booming Bushy Fork metro area where I grew up.

(Thanks to Cousin Susan for tipping me off to this one.)

That's right, I said it...

In Whiteville Area News...

Your favorite senator* has shot one of his former clients.  No, not the client who claimed he was molested by Soles.  (Full Story at News Reporter, and what the heck, WRAL)

The Lake Waccamaw Presbyterian Church is feeding the multitudes who are in town to "Take the Lake."  The church opted to have "dinner on the grounds" and call the event "Take the Lunch" rather than go with the more hip "Ham at the Dam" nomenclature.  ("Take the Look" at News Reporter)

School's back in session.  The local constabulary would like to remind you there's no speeding and no jaywalking in school zones.  (From where else but the News Reporter)

A day in the life of a book salesman.  It's the episode where Sherriff Taylor tries to get the kid to leave town, but Aunt Bea decides to buy some books and fix a home-cooked meal for him instead.  Well, it's close.  (From the NR BTW, Mr. Peters, I grew up with the Southwestern books in my house, and found them so useful that we bought the set from a local thrift shop when we saw them!  Some people just don't realize what they're giving away.)

Give life.  Get cookies.  (Also from the NR)

Looks like the 21st century is here to stay...might as well keep with the times! Schools become part of a program to integrate technology into teaching.  Okay, the article's cool, but I do wonder if the author realizes that we're about 10% complete with the 21st century?  (From the NR)

It's not a backpack, it's an Inpack!  Get yours at http://www.inpackbackpack.com/ today! (I should probably just say at the beginning these are from the News Reporter unless otherwise noted...hey, I'll know for next time.)

 *Hey, I'm not one of the ones who keeps voting him in...

And how about the happenings in Person County?

(All of the below stories are from the Person County Life website unless otherwise noted.  There...that was so much easier.)

Back when I was in high school, we feared and respected the assistant principal.  Now we need a third uniformed deputy to keep the kids straight?

In the days of SpikeHD, officers need new cameras if they want to appear on Worlds Wildest Police Videos.

Fire Chief supports legalization of pot on city sidewalks.

Get your steak, before it's too late.  Everyone at Stephen'z house wishes the Cash family the best as they reorganize under Chapter 11.

Roxboro man sings his Ode to beef and A1.

Oh, what the heck...why not post the YouTube video?

(Y'all hold your horses...voting has ended.)

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That's it for this edition of Stephen'z Small Town Newz...there's plenty of Internet out there for you to read, so don't waste your time on mine!

 

There's a good reason my wife accuses me of telling the same jokes over and over again.  But that's not important right now because it's time for:

That's right, another installment of Stephen'z Small Town Newz is coming your way.  This late breaking edition is brought to you because I have hundreds of news items that are stuck in my news reader simply because I won't do anything with them.  So I finally bring out the plunger and pass this important (?) information along to you, dear reader.

And now, the snooze, I mean...Newz!

From Whiteville and the surrounding areas:

Hold the Taco:  Whiteville's commercialized over-processed mexican food selections are once again put on the back burner as the Taco Bell franchisee has told the city that the project is at a standstill.  On the front burner, your homemade mexican food selections have increased as the Mexico Lindo buffet and tavern is already open in the Whiteville Town Centre.  More international food is coming to Whiteville Town Centre with a hibachi-style steakhouse.  Andy's is planning on making its return to Whiteville in the former Melvin's location.

You don't get to be 93 years old without learning how to wash your hands:  "Aunt Sara" Sledge is keeping the Ambassador Christian camp open at the lake at a time when other camps are shuttering due to fears of the H1N1 virus.

Parking upgrades earned by local teachers:  The following have been recognized with Teacher of the Year honors:  Cheryl Coleman, Acme-Delco Middle School; Sandra Hinson, Chadbourn Middle School; Dorothy Chestnutt, East Columbus High School; Lance Floyd, West Columbus High School; Stephanie Nelson, Acme Delco Elementary. 

3 hots and a cot, if you please:  Judge obliges request to revoke probation for Fair Bluff man.

The Godfather is not from Whiteville:  Terri Parker-Eakes got an offer she couldn't refuse, but it wasn't from Whiteville.  Town leaders still on the lookout for their next city manager.  (Reality show, anyone?)

Brunswick Firefighters bring home the trophy:   Congrats to the Brunswick Brigade who won the overall championship at the 26th annual Firefighters Freedom Competition in Southport.

To close the road ... or not to close the road?:  Families Feud over closure of South Front St. in Delco.

Woman wrecks car, claims it was stolen:  It's all fun and games until someone's yard ornaments and bird bath get destroyed.

Whiteville City Schools require uniforms next year:  Yes, just in time for the Back to School shopping season, your local paper reminds you of all the new dress code requirements.

From Roxboro and the Surrounding Areas:

Please turn your cell phone off:  Students must have their cell phones turned off while on school grounds.  You might be able to get away with the mosquito ringtone, but don't count on it.

Ridge Rd./Chub Lake St. traffic light celebrates 20th birthday:  Plans to actually install the light may come to fruition this year.

PCS Elementary and Middle schools achieve AYP:  But the hi skool didn't did too good.

Take a deep breath Personians: What you're inhaling has 90% less mercury than it once did.

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?:  Be careful how many prescription drugs you carry in your backpack, kids.

Dr. Owen is almost done at PCC:  Bless his heart.

All Commission meetings to be streamed live:  Brought to you by GoldenPalace.com

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I know you can't handle any more...I know I can't.  Read last edition's Newz for more(?) information about how to get your Newz here.  I'm too lazy to copy & paste.

Look!  Up in the air!  It's a bird!  It's a plane!  Ah, who cares...look at your monitor, it's time for:

Yes, it's time once again for Stephen'z Small Town Newz:  headlines ripped and mangled from local small-town newspapers which happen to be online.  If your local small-town newspaper has a website you'd like for me to read, or if you want to submit your own headlines and links, please send me an e-mail.  I can't guarantee that I'll respond, but hey, it's worth a shot, right?

On with the Newz!

Pilot dies in Chadbourn plane crash (News Reporter)

Roxboro woman drowns trying to help an elderly family member (Person County Life)

More than tin years after I graduated, Person county Boys andgirls doing good at testes and stuff (Person County Life)

Chef Paula Deen sheds a tear as Tabor City trims more fat from their budget than ever before, y'all. (News Reporter)

Funding cuts not as bad as once feared; Bake Sale plans on hold (News Reporter)

We don't want no reputable businesses junkin' up our trailer parks. (News Reporter)

Thank you for calling 911.  All of our ambulances are busy tending to other customers.  If you'd like to leave a message, press 1 now, otherwise, please stay on the line, and someone will be with you shortly.  (News Reporter)

11-year-old walks through Roxboro on the way to DC on a trek to raise awareness of homeless children (Person County Life)

"In Russia, 911 calls you!  HEEE HEEEE, What a country!" (News Reporter)

New, nasty school lunches to be served by outside firm (News Reporter)

The Bank is dead!  Long live the bank!  (News Reporter)

Local man just felt like walkin'.  (News Reporter)

Okay, that was more Newz than you could effectively shake a stick at.  (Why you'd do that, or what good it would do is beyond me...)  Tune in next time for more Newz headlines and other useless information.

It's that time once again, time for:

Stephen'z Small Town Newz.

(Oh, quit with your groaning...nobody's making you read this.)

In case this is your first time reading Stephen'z Small Town Newz, what I'm doing is updating you on all the goings on that were big enough to make it to the local papers in the Roxboro or Whiteville metropolitan areas.  No, you didn't read that wrong.  I did, in fact, just refer to the areas surrounding both Whiteville and Roxboro metropolises.  I think that would cover more area than just the "Greater" area used by the local chambers of commerce, don't you?  Anyway, on with the Newz.

From Person County Life:

Roxboro City Council plans to coax people to using the new materials recycling facility by reducing garbage service.  What could possibly go wrong?  (Link)

Once again, Person County Commissioners discuss getting out there on them innernets. Just out of curiosity, how many Skype-out minutes will $30,000 buy?  (Link)

You bet your H1N1 it's the swine flu.  (Link)

Over 30 teachers axed to leave due to budget cuts.  (Link)

Six finalists met and greeted at PCC.  I'm waiting for the talent portion of the competition.  (Link)

Durham catching crap from Roxboro. 4250 gallons of it to be precise. (Link)

Ten classes have graduated since mine.  Congratulations PHS Class of 2009!  You've made me feel old. (Link)

From the News Reporter

Editor'z Note:  First of all, let me give kudos to the News Reporter for churning out news like it's their job.  I've finally whittled down from around 50 links of news that I kinda wanted to put in there to everhowmany articles we end up with here.

Five Whiteville High School teachers axed to leave due to budget cuts.  (Link)

When you're told to avoid someone during your probation, that probably includes marriage.  (Link)

This guy stole a TV, looks like Benjamin Linus from LOST. (Link)

Columbus County Transportation slated to receive $217,850 in urban project stimulus funds.  In other news, Columbus County now considered to be an "urban" area.  They must have heard my pronouncement of Whiteville as a metropolis.  (Link)

Also, there's your crime briefs from June 14, June 15, June 17, and June 18.

 

And, that's it for this edition of Stephen'z Small Town Newz.  Join us next time for more chicken kickin' fun! 

Editor'z Note:  The Editorial Staff of Stephen'z Small Town Newz does not condone animal violence.

From around the globe, across the nation, and down your dirt road, here it is:

Isn't that a nifty little graphic you should be seeing if you're looking at this on my blog and not on Facebook?  (I think?...I'll check later.)  Update, Correction:  I checked.  It's Visafied...everywhere you want to be.

Anyways, I suppose I should cut to the chase and go on with tnewz.  (I'm so eager to get to it, I to'nt even want so pell correctly.)

Don't feed foxes (The News Reporter) They could have rabies, ya know...

South Elementary in Roxboro gets the heinie flu treatment (Person County Life)...you can't tell me H1N1 doesn't look like it should be pronounced heine.  Then again, it would lead one to believe that you might have the stomach flu or some other ailment with a post-intestinal drip.  Speaking of which...

Sewage coming up in Fair Bluff (The News Reporter) The town manager there says sewer rates will increase as they are shutting down (almost got the wrong vowel in there...a wrong consonant here could've also led to a great pun) their local sewage treatment plant to pump what you dump from Fair Bluff to Cerro Gordo to Boardman to Fairmont.  Residents are now confused over the old saying about don't eat where you....well, you know.

Watts for less! (Person County Life) Progress Energy is working to keep their service "reliable and affordable."  Duke Energy apparently doesn't feel the same way about their customers in neighboring areas, but that's another story and it's not from a small town, so it doesn't really count.

Protestors at Whiteville budget meeting (The News Reporter) Of the four groups getting their budgets sliced in half, the one that really caught my eye was the Columbus County Arts Council.  When I think fine arts, Whiteville's not the first place that comes to mind.  In fairness to the council, they were only receiving $500 from the city.  My 2¢:  Have a bake sale to make up the difference.

Developers seek water (The News Reporter)  Some old man with a split dogwood branch seen wandering about vacant lots.

Annual city raises replaced with caffeine free diet COLA (Person County Life) Not only will Roxboro employees face the same salary as last year, they may also get two extra unpaid holidays!  Anyone else ready for a better economy?

"Mopeds, capable of 30-plus mph, need to be registered."  "If the speed is greater than 30, it’s not a moped. It’s a motor scooter..."  (The News Reporter) So basically, I think they're saying if your moped goes faster than 30, it's not really a moped?

Also, make sure you don't miss your theft, fraud, cocaine trafficking, witness intimidation, breaking and entering, probation absconder, teen robbery, and other crime news. (The News Reporter)

Now, you can go about telling people you're smarter because you read Stephen'z Small Town Newz.   Granted, it probably won't be true, but they won't know the difference.

I've decided on a new category here on Stephen'z Blog:  Spam Recipes!  Oh, no wait...I meant to say "Stephen'z Small Town Newz!"  (If I keep introducing new categories, I'm gonna have to have a "New Category"category.)

You see, Shanda's from rural Columbus County, and I'm from rural Person County, so there are likely some gems to appear in the local newspapers from time to time.   It seems as though the folks in Columbus County are really digging the whole information superhighway thing, perhaps thanks to Billy Bob visiting town, moreso than the folks in Roxboro, as The News Reporter is updated more frequently than the Person County Life (online edition of the Courier=Times).

So anyhow, without further adieu, here is your (and my) small town newz!

It's best to let mating gators lie. (News Reporter)

We don't need to be on them innernets. (Person County Life)

Again, please buckle up! (News Reporter)

We need the landfill.  (Those playing the home game can guess where this one's from.)

Axe may fall on teaching positions, and therefore more student essays.  (Person County Life)

Holding up the axe. (News Reporter)

That's it for today.  The landfill article above belongs to ... The News Reporter ... (hilight for answer) this week.  We'll revisit the other paper's landfill issues some other time.

That's it for this Premier and perhaps Final edition of Stephen'z Small Town Newz, check in later for more...or not.